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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26166673">Journey</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sakura_no_Umi/pseuds/Sakura_no_Umi'>Sakura_no_Umi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Sound of Silence [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shaman King (Anime &amp; Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Deaf AU, Deaf Yoh, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Hurt No Comfort</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:02:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,722</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26166673</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sakura_no_Umi/pseuds/Sakura_no_Umi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>At age six Yoh's world changed forever. The world went quiet and the sound never returned. He discovered a power in his hands, and he was no longer as alone as he thought he was sentenced to be.</p>
<p>After a year, maybe it wasn't so bad and scary anymore.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Sound of Silence [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1900174</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Journey</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally started as 3 snippets posted on Tumblr. All three snippets have been tossed out the window due to glaring inaccuracies that never should have happened (insert three attempts of rewrites and me banging my head against the wall because I wanted my cake and to eat it too when I KNEW it was impossible).</p>
<p>As much as I would love to make a whole long fic that is not how I operate so instead it's a series. I don't know how long it will be, but it will basically be scenes I wanted to write, and other scenes to flesh out everything (I will reorder if I write things out of order).</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yoh remembered the world of sound like the memory of a dream upon waking. It was fleeting. There at the edges of the mind, but never in focus, and never sure if what was being remembered had even happened.</p>
<p>The silence was what he had known now. Known since he was six. He didn't mind it. He welcomed it and embraced it with open arms. He couldn't remember what he was missing, but he felt that if he could still hear he would only yearn to turn it off.</p>
<p>The hearing aids he had been forced to try laid forgotten in a drawer, batteries dead, and ear molds far too small to fit. They had brought the world into a slight focus, but nothing was clear or helpful. He didn't like the molds in his ear, even though the were orange, and had fit once upon a time. He hated the bulky plastic behind his ear and the tube that connected the two parts together. He hated that it made sounds he couldn't hear and that caused his classmates to wince, complain, and make fun of him more. His mother hardly tried to fight him on it. They found a new solution and he never had to wear them again.</p>
<p>He would have hated the silence if he hadn't found Teori. The moment when he had realized his world had gone silent and he could no longer hear his mom or talk to her had been the worst. If he watched really carefully and thought really hard he could figure out some of what she was saying, but he couldn't talk to her. He was afraid to try. The only sound he had possibly made since he got sick was the time he had spent crying feeling more alone than ever before.</p>
<p>Despite everything Teori found him. He was in his room with his dad's orange headphones and his dad's Soul Bob records in the album player. The volume was turned up as high as it would go. He couldn't hear Soul Bob, not like he had heard him before he got sick, but he could feel Soul Bob. The vibrations of the music filled him, and he could still perfectly picture and hear Soul Bob singing on the record. It wasn't perfect, but it was as close to normal, as close to home, as he could get for the moment. It was his comfort in a world he suddenly and irrevocably felt like he no longer belonged too.</p>
<p>Teori had just materialized in his room, waving her hand to get his attention. He went to turn the music off, but she stopped him with her hands and a gentle smile. He watched in wonder as slowly and carefully with only her lips she told him she could teach him how to talk with his hands. For the first time since he's world silenced the tears that fell from his eyes were from happiness.</p>
<p>This time when he went to turn off the music and take his headphones off Teori let him. She followed along behind him as he took off running to grab his mother and his grandpa. Together they sat around the low wooden table learning Japanese Sign Language. Yoh picked it up the fastest while his grandpa, Yohmei, struggled with it. Finally he could talk again, talk to the people who mattered most. His classmates didn't count because they never wanted to talk to him in the first place. He would prefer to continue to stay mute in school. It made everything easier.</p>
<p>When he had to go back to school Teori went with him. He didn't know what his mom had told the school, but as long as he kept his grades up the teachers didn't give him trouble. He simply sat in class, didn't talk, and watched Teori's hands tell him everything that was going on. If he didn't understand something he would ask Teori later. She was a great teacher.</p>
<p>Teori had told him that before she died in her thirties she had been a teacher too. She had a little brother just like him who couldn't hear and talked with JSL as well. Yoh thought that was great, but Teori had told him back then JSL was frowned upon, and the teachers tried really hard to not have to use it with her brother. Yoh thought that was pretty mean, and Teori agreed. She told him all about how in the sixties there was a movement to make sign language more accessible so that all kids who needed it or wanted to use it would be able too.</p>
<p>Teori said that if his family hadn't found her, then he and his family would have gone to a center to learn sign language and that he would have had an interpreter at school. Yoh didn't like that. He didn't want everyone else to see his secret language because they didn't deserve to know. Teori was his little secret.</p>
<p>The kids at school knew he couldn't hear as soon as he'd gone back. Now instead of making fun of him for being able to see ghosts they made fun of him for not being able to hear as well. They said he deserved it for being a freak of nature. Teori never signed the mean things they said, but it didn't matter. Yoh could always read it on their lips, in their faces, and in the way they stood and gestured. Sometimes he wished Teori wasn't so nice and was into pranking. He'd love it if she would make everyone think the classroom was haunted. His classmates might hate him more, but it would be worth it.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Yoh was two months into his new life when he had a scary thought. He'd always been told his grandma couldn't see (even though she always knew where he was and when he was trying to get away with something). If she couldn't see how was he going to be able to ever talk to her again?</p>
<p>Teori noticed the tears gathering in his eyes and asked him what was wrong. He explained everything and she gave him a soft smile in return. She told him that even if his ears didn't work his voice worked. He could still talk if he wanted to. Just because he couldn't hear it didn't mean no one else could. He told her he was scared. What if his voice had broken too when he got sick. Teori told him he didn't have too, that she would never force him to use his voice if he didn't want too. Her brother had been forced, and he didn't like it.</p>
<p>With a sad smile she still told him despite all of that there wasn't really another option for talking with his grandma. His face drew into a thoughtful pout. He wasn't happy with the idea, but maybe speaking wouldn't be so scary. He could do it for his grandma, because like him a part of her was broken too. He didn't love her any differently, and he was sure she'd still love him the same right?</p>
<p>The next day he told Teori he was going to try. He made her promise not to laugh and not to tell anyone. She agreed with a pinky promise.</p>
<p>He asked her what he should say. She told him to say something easy, something he had said all the time. Yoh's cheeks reddened. It would be weird to say it to Teori, but he'd been wanting to say it to his mom ever since he got sick.</p>
<p>Teori told him to pretend she wasn't there. With a deep breath he put the headphones over his ear picturing the sounds of Soul Bob as he closed his eyes. He visualized the phrase 'I love you, Mom,' in his head. His muscles took over and his lips, tongue, and teeth began to make the words practicing how they felt after two months. As his confidence grew he reached deep inside and pushed feeling a pressure fill and slide out of his mouth.</p>
<p>He cracked his eyes open to Teori's beaming voice. 'You're voice is so cute, Yoh,' she signed.</p>
<p>He blushed. 'Did I do it right?'</p>
<p>'You did it perfectly,' she assured.</p>
<p>He pushed the headphones back behind his ears and took off running sock feet sliding on the wood floor as he rounded the corner into the kitchen. His mother turned around at the commotion and froze when he collided with her wrapping his arms around her. She ruffled his hair not in a position to bend down and fully wrap him in her arms. He pulled back enough to lift his beaming head to her.</p>
<p>“I love you, Mom.”</p>
<p>'I love you, too,' she signed back, tears glistening before loosening his hold just enough so that she could get down to his level and pull him close.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Using his voice to tell his mom he loved her had been a mistake in that now his grandpa knew his voice wasn't broken. That wouldn't have been a problem except now nothing was stopping him from resuming his shamanic training. Yoh had enjoyed his reprieve and not having to work on making Shikigamis or have to fight his grandpa's Shikigamis.</p>
<p>His grandpa kept trying to remind him he was doing all this training to win the Shaman Fight and become the Shaman King so he could live that easy life he dreamed about wanting. Yoh wasn't sure all this effort was worth it. He kept up with it because it made his mom and grandpa happy, and maybe just maybe if he got strong enough his dad would come back and be sorry about leaving. He'd make his dad work really hard for it though.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>A year had passed since Yoh's world had changed to one of comforting silence. He had been outside when Ponchi and Conchi had found him and oh so helpfully told him his dad was back and had brought a little girl with him. Something dark and heavy had begun to curl in his gut. He asked Ponchi and Conchi about the girl, and they told him she had pink hair like the color of cotton candy. The sensation in his stomach reared up all ugly and hissing as his hands clenched into fists and trembled. He averted his eyes from the ghosts and took off running for his room. He didn't really know anything about where babies came from, but he knew enough to know his little brother or sister would look like him. He knew she wouldn't have pink hair.</p>
<p>He slipped in the back of the house, and made it into his room without creating a sound. His grandpa would have been proud with how he had applied himself and mastered the training. Yoh just didn't want to be found right now.</p>
<p>He pulled the headphones snugly over his ears and connected them to the record player. He allowed the vibrations of Soul Bob to fill him as he let the ugly beast building in his stomach release. He buried his tears in his drawn up knees as he made himself as small as possible.</p>
<p>He must have fallen asleep at some point because he awoke to the lights flickering in his room. He wiped his eyes as Ponchi and Conchi appeared looking a little uneasy. Good, serves them right to feel bad about one of their tricks.</p>
<p>'You're Dad's gone,' Conchi signed.</p>
<p>'Good,' Yoh signed back, face set in a harsh line. Then tentatively he asked, 'Did he even come back here?'</p>
<p>The spirits shared a look between them before Conchi hesitantly signed back, 'No.'</p>
<p>The spirits were gone before Yoh's pillow could even pass through their incorporeal forms.</p>
<p>Of course his dad wouldn't come and look for him, of course he didn't care. He hadn't cared for the past seven years so why care now. His dad was probably like all his classmates who thought he was a failure and deserved to be broken. His dad hadn't come home when he was sick so why would it be any different a year later.</p>
<p>With a frustrated something leaving his mouth he got up and made his way to the kitchen where he was sure she'd be. He made sure to let his footfalls echo so everyone in the house would know his misery.</p>
<p>His mother turned a worried look on him when he came around the corner, but it ended the moment he locked eyes on the four-year-old sitting at the table. She instantly burst into tears and drew his mother's attention away.</p>
<p>He mumbled a sorry and turned his head away. He didn't mean to make her cry. It wasn't her fault his dad didn't love him, but that ugly snake was coiled in his stomach and rearing it's head again.</p>
<p>At some point the girl must have calmed down because his mom was ushering him to the table pushing a soothing cup of tea into his hands. His dinner sat in front of him warm and freshly made. He took a sip of the tea while the girl watched him with cautious wide eyes. He tried to offer her a smile, but he was so tired he wasn't sure how successful he was. She didn't cry so it couldn't have been too bad.</p>
<p>His mother watched him carefully as he ate in silence and the girl seemed to scoot closer and closer slowly making her way around the table. He saw her eyeing a piece of fish on his plate, and when she got closer he offered it to her with his chopsticks. Carefully she picked it out from between the chopsticks before stuffing it in her mouth with a smile.</p>
<p>She wasn't the enemy, Yoh reminded himself. His dad was. She hadn't done anything wrong, yet.</p>
<p>Satisfied Yoh had calmed down somewhat his mother gathered the girl up with a quick sign she was putting her to bed. Yoh got a quick kiss to the top of his head as he was left to finish his last few remaining bites and the rest of his tea. His mom would be back, and he laid his head on the table as he waited after carrying his dishes over.</p>
<p>His mom came back a pulled him into a hug. They sat like that for a moment before he pushed her away so that she could see his hands.</p>
<p>'Why doesn't dad love me?'</p>
<p>'Yoh sweetie, you're dad loves you,'</p>
<p>'No he doesn't. He's never here.'</p>
<p>'It's complicated,' his mother tried, and Yoh frowned in response, nose scrunched up.</p>
<p>'No its not,' Yoh insisted, 'Dad left, and found some other kid he likes better because he doesn't like me.'</p>
<p>'He didn't replace you.'</p>
<p>Yoh gave his mom a pointed look, and she sighed.</p>
<p>'Tamao doesn't have a family—'</p>
<p>'She doesn't have a mom or dad?' Yoh interrupted. 'That's awful.'</p>
<p>'It is,' his mom agreed. 'Your dad took her in because she has no one, and she's a shaman like us. She'd never understand her powers if an ordinary family took care of her.'</p>
<p>Yoh contemplated this for a moment before returning to his original line of questioning, 'But what about me?'</p>
<p>His mother gave him a sad smile, 'I need you to trust me that he loves you very much. There's something he feels he needs to do in order to protect you.'</p>
<p>'Protect me? But why can't he do that from here?'</p>
<p>'I don't know,' his mother answered, and Yoh could tell she really didn't know the answer to his question.</p>
<p>Yoh pouted, 'It's still stupid, and I hate him.'</p>
<p>His mother didn't comment farther or reprimand him for saying he hated his father. Instead she pulled him close hiding her mouth from his line of vision obscuring any secrets she may be offering into the room. He was too tired to try and fight her, to try and figure out what this big secret was that he wasn't supposed to know. One day he'd eventually find out, and maybe he would forgive his dead, but in all likelihood he was never going too. He'd been gone for too long, and the wound was too deep and ugly to ever heal.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Alright here is a brief rundown on Yoh's hearing loss. At age six Yoh contracted bacterial meningitis. He was hospitalized for it, and ended up developing a hearing loss as a result of it. He has a bilateral, profound sensorineural hearing loss. Hearing aids in 1991 were not great, and a cochlear implant was not an option in Japan at this time for his age. Yoh is actually a pretty good speech reader (lip reader) but reading lips is tiring so JSL is much better for him. He can also speak orally when he wants too, but as he gets older he will develop more characteristics of deaf speech as he won't be able to use auditory cues to regulate it, and muscle memory will only get him so far.</p>
<p>If you want to talk more in depth about any of the decisions I made, ask questions about Yoh's hearing loss and what not, feel free to reach out because I'm more than happy to talk for hours about it. I just didn't want to overload the authors note with every minutia of detail I put into it.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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